Weekly ideas to stimulate reflection, inspire new possibilities and encourage new ways of doing and being.
1. Test the water
This week’s word is: Control
Control is the power or authority to direct, influence, or manage the behavior, actions, or course of events, of a person, system, or process, often to achieve a desired outcome or maintain order.
The word "control" comes from the Latin verb contrarotulare, which means "to check by a counter-register." This term is derived from contra- meaning "against" and rotula, which means "a small wheel" or "a roll" (related to the concept of a register or roll of paper used for record-keeping). Initially used in the context of checking records, later it extended to mean exerting influence or regulation over various aspects of life.
What is your definition of control how do you relate to it? Discuss the question here.
2. Experience the initial wave
To broaden your perspective, take a few minutes to read the following thoughts and notice what comes up for you.
I.
"The more you try to control something, the more it controls you." Unknown
II.
“He who has control over himself has control over the world.” Seneca
III.
At the very beginning of his book called Enchiridion (Handbook), Epictetus introduces the concept of dichotomy of control. The dichotomy of control, a key concept in Stoic philosophy, serves as an essential guide for ethical conduct and mental well-being. This principle divides life into two categories:
things we can control (our actions and thoughts); and
things we cannot control (external events, other people's actions, and outcomes).
Stoicism invites people to focus on controlling the controllables and foster a mindset of detachment towards everything else.
3. Dive deep
To gain a deeper understanding and spark new discoveries, this week I invite you to reflect on the following questions:
In general, what is so bad about being out of control?
How do you respond when you feel a lack of control in your life?
How does your need for control affect your ability to trust others / the universe / yourself?
In what areas of your life do you distinguish between having influence and having control? How do these distinctions impact your relationships, wellbeing and decisions?
4. Ride your radiant wave
This week I invite you to explore a new perspective on how to control the controllables. Many leadership experts and spiritual gurus suggest that while we can't control external events, we can control our reactions. However, most times we actually cannot control our initial reactions or control whether or not we have a reaction to something.
What we truly have control over is how we handle those reactions and what we choose to do with the reaction we are having. This week, I invite you to let go of the thought that you can control your reactions and rather focus on how to manage your responses effectively. Instead of trying to control the automatic reactions we experience, let's work on choosing how to respond to them constructively.
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