11:11 Waves Blog 62: Never

Weekly ideas to stimulate reflection, inspire new possibilities and encourage new ways of doing and being.

1. Test the water

This week’s word is: Never

The word “never” means not at all, in no way, by no chance, in no case, under no condition and at no time, whether past, present or future.

The word originates from the Old English word nǣfre, a compound of ne “not” + ǣfre “ever”.

What is your definition of never and how do you relate to it? Discuss the question here.

2. Experience the initial wave

To broaden your perspective, take few minutes to read the following thoughts and notice what comes up for you.

I.

Never is an absolute term.  Often referred to as black and white, either/or thinking, absolutes place us at opposite ends of any continuum or spectrum we are thinking about or acting on.  While there are absolutely places in language for all of these words, problems can arise when we have a pattern of thinking or acting in absolutes.  Life exists in the gray.

II.

Never give up. At the 2024 Figure Skating World Championships, Adam Siao Him Fa made history for the greatest comeback ever recorded in the sport. After a disastrous Short Program left him in 19th place, he gave an unbelievable performance in the Free Skate, winning the bronze medal. Following his performance he said: “After the short program, I was discouraged and very angry with myself. It was a huge disappointment for everyone, but most importantly, for me. I approached the Free Program thinking that I should not give up. I learned that I should never count me out until it’s over.”

III.

Never too late. Another inspiring story from the recent Worlds was the one of Deanna Stellato-Dudek and Maxime Deschamps. Originally from the US, Deanna was a promising young skater in the late 1990s. After winning medals at Junior Worlds and Junior Grand Prix Final, she had to step away from the sport for good because of a series of serious injuries. 16 years later she attended a work retreat and participated in a team-building activity with colleagues. As part of this activity, she selected a prompt card with the question: “What is something you would do, if you’d have no fear of failure?”. Deanna immediately responded: “I would win an Olympic medal”. Shocked and inspired by her response, she returned to figure skating. Last week Deanna and partner Maxime won the gold medal. At the moment they finished their gold medal-winning free skate, the noise at the Bell Centre in Montreal was measured at more than 90 decibels. With this victory, Deanna made history by becoming the oldest woman to ever win a world title in figure skating in any discipline. Their story is one of perseverance, passion for the sport, and never thinking it's too late to try again.

3. Dive deep

To deepen your awareness and spark new discoveries, this week I invite you to reflect on the following questions and explore the various dimensions of “never”:

Personal Growth: Can you think of something you said you would never do, but ended up doing? What changed in your beliefs, circumstances, or knowledge that led to this change?

Regret and Missed Opportunities: Is there something you regret never having done or said? What held you back at the time, and how do you feel about it now?

Commitments and Values: What are some things you are committed to never doing? How do these commitments reflect your core values?

Fear and Limitations: Are there dreams or goals you feel you will never achieve? What fears or perceived limitations are holding you back? How could you overcome this?

Change: Reflect on the saying, "Never say never." Can you think of instances where this has proven true in your life? How does this perspective influence your approach to change and uncertainty?

4. Ride your radiant wave

Using the word "never" in conversations can have a profound impact on communication and relationships. Its effect can vary greatly depending on the context in which it's used, the tone of the conversation, and the dynamics between the individuals involved. This week I encourage you to develop a mindful approach when using the word “never” and consider how the word "never" in your conversations affect your life, communication and relationships? Is it empowering, limiting, or something else?